Put a ballot in a box and a sausage in some bread and you've got yourself an election, baby!
The humble "democracy sausage" is what seperates us Australians from the animals (yes, even the Coyote) and generally brings out the most excitement of any Federal election since 2007. We may not have any especially strong candidates, and it's unlikley the winner will sit a full term, but at least we can fill our bellies with a half-cooked sanga and some damp white bread!
But sometimes I wonder if things could be improved. Snags are delicious, but also very commonplace; I don't have to wait for an election to finally fill my sausage in bread craving, I can just walk down to my local hardware store any weekend and I'm bound to find one. Here are some options that I think are delicious, and may just make our democratic right a little more enticing.
1. Democracy Bratwurst (in bread)
Let's not beat around the bush, this is pretty much exactly the same as a sausage in bread, but just a tad fancier. How often do you see somebody offering bratwurst in the streets? It would have to be less frequent than once every three years - probably even longer - so tieing this to the election term would only make this a more dependable snack.
2. Democracy Ribs
One thing you must never do when placing a vote is obscuring your own ballot paper. Your fingers must be clean! But afterwards? It's open season. What better way to exercise your right to enjoy messy fingers (and the right to vote) than with a fat stack of ribs?
3. Democracy Tazos
No, I didn't mean Tacos, I mean those little discs you used to get in a packet of chips, probably with a little picture of Crash Bandicoot on them. What were those things? I don't know either, but I'd love to see them make a comeback. I can see voters racing from polling station to polling station using a string of aliases to vote as many times as they can in an attempt to collect them all. What a great way to boost numbers!
4. Democracy Appletini
So long as voting is only open to those aged 18 years and above, we may as well enjoy it. In fact, there's every liklihood we're all going to need one of these once the result is delivered. It's worth noting, however, I can't see this working for any other kind of cocktail.
5. Democracy 24 Hour Slow Cooked Sucking Pig
Let's face it, voting is all about the barbecue, so why not just steer into that with the barbiest barbeque of them all! In many ways, Australian politics can feel like going around in circles and accomplishing nothing - but on the spit, the going around in circles is what will make that pig so succulent and delicious! It's a sign that progress can be made! A symbol we should all aspire to on election day! They'll just have to remember to start preparing the dish one whole day before the polls open, or else I'll have come out for literally nothing.